And Jane thought Roger V. was weird...

"Give us a way out of this thing, if you can, as the guy who is supposed to be the Big Chief of baseball. The little Indians. I am like the little Indians out in the West. You hear about the Big Chief back in Washington, the Great White Father who says, 'You've got to move off your reservation.' We kept moving the Indians back and back and back until they had to fight. A few of them had to fight. I do not want to fight. Great White Father, please tell me how to avoid fighting for what little we have left. The buffalo are gone. The white man came and killed off all the buffalo...

I am very contrite. I am very humble. I am sorry. I would get down on the floor and let you jump up and down on me if it would help. I would let you hit me three times in the face without lifting a hand to protect myself. I would bend over and let you paddle my behind, hit me over the head with a Fresca bottle, something like that. Physical pain I can stand."

-- Ted Turner, to Bowie Kuhn, originally published by the Atlanta Constitution, 1977